RANT: Should you boycott Portal 2? Only if you’re a moron

Fans upset about the PC game being a console port, having short run time, day-one DLC and, uh, a marketing campaign. Come again?

By Adam Doree, April 20, 2011

Apparently, user ratings for all three versions of Portal 2 on Metacritic have plummeted to as low as five-point-something, thanks to a co-ordinated attack from a group of angry fans.

And obviously, they are idiots.

According to this report, the angry fans’ issues are targeted at the PC version, and are as follows:

“PC users are upset that the game is a console port, and even includes references to turning off the ‘console’ when saving.”

I’ve played through both the Xbox 360 version and the PC version. The PC version is, as you’d expect, light years ahead. So regardless of how they developed the game internally, for all intents and purposes it may as well be the other way around. In addition, the console reference (oh no!) appears to have been removed. Portal 2 looks stunning on any platform, and if development had been led on PC first, do you honestly think it would look significantly better? The art in the game is beautiful and, both artistically and technically, it’s Valve’s most visually impressive game to date on console and PC. So who cares? Morons!

“The game’s short running time.”

You can’t be serious. Even on a second play through when I already know how to beat every level pretty fast, this is still at least a seven hour game by my timing and will be significantly more on the first play through. In an age where some game franchises hand in a major sequel with a campaign almost as a bonus feature to complement the multiplayer, Portal 2’s running time is actually quite optimal when you consider that every moment of the experience is fantastic. So what’s the problem? Morons!

“The online store, which is already filled with downloadable content”

I can sort of understand this one, a little. But not really. The DLC is just non-essential add-on tat, such as additional “gestures” and skins for use in co-op play: all rather superfluous and I wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole, but y’know, it’s there if you want it – and at least it’s there on day one IF YOU DO. What does it matter whether DLC comes now or later? If there’s any further, proper DLC on the way then I’ll be looking forward to it. But some costumes and other store crap? Who cares? Morons!

“The controversial ARG promotional campaign – which tempted players into buying unrelated indie titles.”

So let me get this right. A company has a product launch. And in the run up to said product launch they do various kinds of marketing, including some alternative reality game nonsense, if you like that kind of thing. And, in said marketing, they have the audacity to try and market some other stuff on the side? No way! That’s good marketing, last time I checked. Does this have anything at all to do with Portal 2, the finished product? No, it does not. Morons!

I know these childish users have already been chastised around half the Internet, but I just couldn’t resist.

Read our Portal 2 review from yesterday morning here if you still haven’t heard what makes it so great.

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6 Responses to “RANT: Should you boycott Portal 2? Only if you’re a moron”

  1. Rich says:

    PC players are angry that console dev, slows and holds back PC dev. That’s what you are not getting.

  2. Adam Doree says:

    If games were only ever made for a single platform, whether it’s a single console or the PC, sure they might get released earlier – and developers would also make a lot less return on their investment meaning they might not be able to fund any of their games or service so well in the long run. I mean seriously who cares. Besides, even if PC gamers are angry does that mean they should storm Metacritic saying the game’s shit? Obviously not.

  3. Rich says:

    If that’s how they feel about their stupid opinion, Then yes, yes they should.

  4. Rich says:

    By the way, shouldn’t you guys be doing articles about how this gen of consoles has gone on too long?

  5. Adam Doree says:

    We should be doing a lot of things that we are not.

  6. Rich says:

    Adam, when people have built in anger you know it explodes. I feel the same with many games being produced today. My consoles ps3,360 sit right now. Only game on my list is Dragon’s Dogma.

    I have many issues with consoles as of late. Time frame being last 8-12 months. Can’t list them all for you, so you can see my perspective.

    Where is my dungeon crawler for console? I can get old titles for that on pc so I don’t have to gripe. Should they really go to metacritic?

    If it’s the only way to be heard, they feel desperate, what would you do with your anger? Besides not buy the title in question like myself?


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